Category Analysis

How Many Men Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

Shards of glass blanketed the roads like grass in a country field, flames engulfed the city in a vicious tsunami, and crimson puddles splashed as the feet of “protestors” marched forward. The smell of burnt garbage and the echoes of sirens and yelling filled the atmosphere… anyone could taste the bloodlust. Police plated in swat gear roamed the metropolis to confront the rioters, but even with maximum personnel, they were

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Alabama Senate Race: The Academic Redneck Endorses Roy Moore

Dear Fellow Alabamians (or “Alabamans,” as media types who know nothing about you and don’t really care to learn, call you): Despite our home state’s unfortunate notoriety in history and literature for falsely accusing men of rape, your betters have decided that this time it’s your moral obligation to join a righteous mob. You no longer need be troubled by cases like the Scottsboro Boys and the theme of To

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The Neuromorphic Reckoning

You can read and interpret these words because of electrical brain activity triggered by your eyes. You’re responding to sensory input in order to create meaning from this interaction with my words. I mention this because IBM and DARPA (the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) have created neuromorphic silicon chips, or silicon neurons, that do something similar by mimicking activity in the cortex of the human brain. In other words, the birth

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The Academic Redneck Fitness Challenge: Update 5

Previous Weight Loss (November 28, 2016-November 6, 2017): 34.4 pounds Weight Gain (November 6-December 4): 5 pounds Total Weight Loss (November 28, 2016-December 4, 2017): 29.4 Pounds Remaining to End of 2017 Goal: 20.6 pounds Well, I seriously considered pulling a CNN or a Brian Ross and throwing out some fake news today to avoid admitting I actually gained weight in November, but for what purpose? I know the truth,

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Florida’s Invasive Serpent: The Burmese Python

A few thousand years ago, the Kissimmee River freely trickled south over 11,000 miles of Florida’s land, creating a vast, thin sheet of water that spread over much of the state’s southern half. Over the next couple thousand years, ponds, marshes, and forests developed creating nearly half of Florida’s delicately balanced ecosystem. Four-fifths of that land eventually went to farming and development. In 1947, Everglades National Park opened in order

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Single Parenting in the 21st Century

When my son Rylee fell off a bunk bed, cracked his skull, and ended up in an emergency room, every fear in my life crystallized in a horrifying flash of uncertainty. I started to think back to a few days before when I had become frustrated and scolded him, and I became frightened that it may have been the last day we ever spent together. Regret and doubt filled my

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