I wake With death in my mouth. Before I wash it out, I start with Ten reasons why I cannot take my own life. One–Suicide is selfish, Especially for you. You help so many people. What would they do Without you? Two–Who else Can make Algebra fun? All your students need you. Three–Who would get friends Out in sun Working dirt into green things? You are the only one. Three–if
Alan finished the last of his smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, turned to Monica, and said, “Let’s take a walk on the beach.” “The open air would be nice,” she said. The waitress arrived with the bill, and Alan said, “Wonderful service. And our compliments to the chef for a superb breakfast.” “And thank you for visiting Cuchulainn’s Pub, sir,” she said. “It’s nice to take care of courteous Americans.
A few weeks ago, I made a remark to a co-worker about hearing a Christmas song in Lowe’s the day after Halloween. “You’re just a Christmas hater,” the person said. As I recall, my comment was innocent enough, something along the lines of “Hey, I heard a Christmas song in Lowe’s the day after Halloween,” not “I’m suing Lowe’s for reminding me of Christmas,” or “I wish we could ban
For a basic (one might suppose inherently neutral) law of physics, the phrase has nevertheless garnered a lion’s share of unfriendly users in the low-rent back roads of the vernacular. Many among us, in truth, would far prefer the virulent lash of a “Bitch!” or a “Bastard!” to being leveled by the contemptuous (and worse, dismissive) charge of taking up space. How did this bland and
Brian Shepard woke from a dream in the still of the night and sat up in bed. He had been standing alone on the top of a hill, pleading for someone to come to him, take him by the hand, and guide him safely down the hill, but he remained alone no matter how much he pleaded, his words lost in the wind. His dreams had intensified now that he
Recently, I said to my wife, “If I die before you, please don’t have my funeral in a megachurch. I might have to come back and haunt you for that.” Inspired by a funeral pageant on television, I’d made the mistake of imagining my own taking place with smoke machines, jumbotrons, and an army of bagpipers playing “Amazing Grace.” If you’ve never been in a megachurch, they’re likely to have all