Last summer, I received a letter from the Miss Teen Beauty Pageant. The letter informed me that I was recommended for the pageant by someone anonymous. When I first received it, I threw it aside and didn’t look at it for a few days. I wasn’t interested in being in a beauty pageant. Still, the more I thought about it, the more I thought I should give it a try.
Every few years I attend the Consumer Electronics Show, and each time I am blown away by the advances in technology. Going to the CES means walking through the almost seven million square feet of displays, and competing for foot space with over 175,000 people from all over the world. The show lasts for four days during the first full week in January. It takes place in Las Vegas, and
If there’s one thing I’ve learned when it comes to marriage, it’s that you need to stick to marrying someone who is close to what you are used to. That is to say, when considering marriage, the person you choose should have a similar family background and upbringing. Of course, if you grew up in a toxic environment, by all means, please get some counseling, break the cycle, and find
Two lesbians walked into a bar. They ordered drinks and gazed at the bartender intently, with a “let’s make babies” kind of look, a look my brother rarely got from women at a gay bar, but especially not from a lesbian couple. Something queer was going on. These women had sought my brother out. After spending far too much money on failed attempts from a sperm bank, they decided to
A gentle rain is falling. It’s evening now and all is quiet. Too quiet! With every passing moment the garden, the malignant garden is growing. We’ve warned friends to watch out, that the squash vines may be growing faster than they can run! Savvy friends visiting our ranch know about our squash problem and lock their cars, lest their back seats somehow mysteriously become filled with zucchini, neatly stacked like
The smell of a sun-warmed apricot transports me backwards in time, reliving a day spent picking fruit fresh from the tree with my great-grandmother as she regaled me with stories of living in a sod hut on the Colorado-Kansas border. Orphaned at an early age, she traveled west with her relatives, rode in a covered wagon, and spent her days riding her pony across the prairie. Great-Grandma was an interesting