Humor – US Represented https://www.usrepresented.com Wed, 30 Oct 2019 16:57:56 -0600 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.3 39802987 Ten Reasons Why You Should Hang Out with Count Dracula https://www.usrepresented.com/2019/10/30/ten-reasons-hang-count-dracula/ Wed, 30 Oct 2019 06:03:45 +0000 https://www.usrepresented.com/?p=19869 I spent some time with Dracula Sunday night at a local art center. He was so dashing and such an elegant gentleman in his fabulous cape. Then, with a wickedly sexy smile, he started teasing me by calling me “Buffy” and “Slayer” as terms of endearment. I was immediately mesmerized by his exotic charm and became moonstruck. I am now intensely compelled to explain why you should hang out with

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Ten Reasons Why Small Dogs Are the Best Dogs https://www.usrepresented.com/2019/10/24/small-dogs/ Thu, 24 Oct 2019 12:47:12 +0000 https://www.usrepresented.com/?p=23873 Who says bigger is better? While most Americans seem to prefer the larger breeds—hunting dogs, guard dogs, herding dogs, and working dogs—I’m a cheerleader for companion breeds. And the smaller, the better. Why, I wonder, do they always come in last in the popularity contests? Is it a holdover from our rural history, when Timmy and Lassie were best pals on the farm? Is it tied to our bigger-is-better supersized

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Pageant Brain https://www.usrepresented.com/2019/10/18/pageant/ Fri, 18 Oct 2019 09:03:18 +0000 https://www.usrepresented.com/?p=51614 Last summer, I received a letter from the Miss Teen Beauty Pageant. The letter informed me that I was recommended for the pageant by someone anonymous. When I first received it, I threw it aside and didn’t look at it for a few days. I wasn’t interested in being in a beauty pageant. Still, the more I thought about it, the more I thought I should give it a try.

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The Need to Know https://www.usrepresented.com/2019/09/06/need-to-know/ Fri, 06 Sep 2019 07:08:51 +0000 https://www.usrepresented.com/?p=51125 The African grey parrot began rocking back and forth in its cage when it saw the Golden Retriever enter the kitchen. The dog trotted over to an unattended skillet of bacon that was popping and splattering hot oil all over the counter. Another six pieces of bacon sat cooling on a plate next to the skillet. The dog stood up on its hind legs, put its paws on the counter,

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Hanging on the Periphery: The Life of an Introvert https://www.usrepresented.com/2019/07/30/introvert/ Wed, 31 Jul 2019 01:35:34 +0000 https://www.usrepresented.com/?p=51868 I’m Gary, and I’m an introvert. It’s no big deal, really, but there it is. If you know me casually, you might be surprised. Close friends, on the other hand, will probably get it. They know I can hold my own in social situations, but every now and then I have to disappear to recharge my socializing power cells. I like to think of it as my way of being

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The Joys of a Good Morning’s Sleep https://www.usrepresented.com/2019/07/18/the-joys-of-a-good-mornings-sleep/ Thu, 18 Jul 2019 07:31:48 +0000 https://www.usrepresented.com/?p=52079 Here’s a thing about me: I hate getting out of bed in the morning. When I was young, my mother warned me to always be careful about using the word “hate.” It was a powerful thing, she told me. It could hurt others’ feelings and eventually turn me into a bitter person. It couldn’t be taken back, either. Once I spoke it into being, it was there to stay. So trust

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