A guy in Connecticut was arrested recently after he had a meltdown over a bad haircut. In spite of my current expanding forehead situation, I can totally relate. As a child of the sixties, hair wars comprised much of my life. Exhibit A was my high school. Every day, the dean of boys walked the […]
Follicular Assault Read More »
“… the pinnacle of hyenic humor, was the hyena, the classic hyena, that hit too far back while running, would circle madly, snapping and tearing at himself, until he pulled his own intestines out, and then stood there, jerking them out and eating them with relish. “‘Fisi,’ M’Cola would say and shake his head in
Dave Barry, Novelist: The M’cola Perspective Read More »
During the afternoon of my 21st birthday, I was standing by the garden along one side of our house with my father, Walter McCollum. We were looking at the peony buds as they prepared to bloom into great globes of cream and magenta. The sepals were alive with black ants. “Those *%*)(#! ants!” my father
Mother *%*)(#! Tongue Read More »
“Here,” said Ray, handing me the screwdriver and taking the flashlight. “You’re smaller than me. Maybe you can fit in there.” He shone the light down on the small block Chevy 283. “I need you to get that screwdriver right there and see if you can beak the seal.” We were standing in a parking
There’s No Tool Like an Old Tool Read More »
The African grey parrot began rocking back and forth in its cage when it saw the Golden Retriever enter the kitchen. The dog trotted over to an unattended skillet of bacon that was popping and splattering hot oil all over the counter. Another six pieces of bacon sat cooling on a plate next to the
Last summer, I received a letter from the Miss Teen Beauty Pageant. The letter informed me that I was recommended for the pageant by someone anonymous. When I first received it, I threw it aside and didn’t look at it for a few days. I wasn’t interested in being in a beauty pageant. Still, the