Slut Shaming: Who’s the Real Slut?

Slut ShamingMen have sex. Women have sex. Men and women both have sex. Why, then, are women condemned for having and enjoying sex? In recent years, the act of making a person feel inferior due to her choice of sexual acts has been given the name “slut shaming.” Though both men and women can be subjected to slut shaming, women tend to be impacted by it far more often. The act of slut shaming has taken double standards to a new level. A man can have sex with all the women he desires and is praised. A woman has sex with two men and is called a whore.

The culprits of slut shaming aren’t just men. Granted, many middle-aged men have been associated with shaming women for their sexual encounters. Ironically, though, the biggest offenders in regard to slut shaming are other women who forget they’re in the same boat. Many women get jealous, see others as their competition, and overlook the fact that they’re both struggling with the same obstacles. One type of woman will sleep with a man knowing that his list of previous sexual encounters runs high, but if she knows a woman she doesn’t like who has slept with a few men, she’s a slut. Due to jealousy, women will slut shame without thinking. Likewise, the same women who would be hurt by these accusations do it to their female colleagues without even blinking. What we women need to understand is that we need to stick together. Who are we going to go to when we’re upset when a man calls us a slut if we’re doing the same thing to each other?

slut shaming 4The words “slut” and “whore” are thrown around too easily. These words are insults, not words to use towards friends for entertainment value or because you’re jealous of a girl who attracts more men than you. One reason slut shaming has gotten so out of hand is because people forget how harsh these words really are. Girls as young as twelve call each other these names on a daily basis. They think doing so makes them seem more worldly and mature. In reality, it makes them seem uneducated and foolish. In return, men hear women calling each other these names and assume this type of language isn’t much of an insult anymore. If women don’t respect each other as sexual beings, how can they expect men to? When a man hears you calling other women sluts, he may think it’s alright to do so himself. He may think it will be funny. The society we live in today is forgetting that people still have feelings, and words still hurt.

I realize I’ve mainly been addressing women, but I’m not excusing any man. Not all men engage in the act of slut shaming, but the ones who do think they’re entitled to. These men treat women as if their very purpose on Earth is to have sex with them. They play games and say what women want to hear just to get them in bed. As soon as the woman gives in to them, she is considered a slut. I once heard a man say, “If these girls are so upset about being called sluts by the guys they sleep with, maybe they should stop sleeping with them. It’s more the girl’s fault than anything.” This man is one of those who thinks he could never be at fault. He thinks that sleeping with him is a gift to whichever “slut” is lucky enough to be with him. This man can fool a woman into thinking he’s in love with her, but still, if she has sex with him, she’s a whore. Yet somehow, he prides himself in sleeping with these “whores.” He may be breaking some poor woman’s heart, but it doesn’t matter because she’s a “slut.”

Words hurt the most when they attack personal character based on personal actions. No person wants to be attacked based on the activities she’s been involved in, especially private, intimate activities. Our society has turned into one where private lives barely exist anymore. A woman’s sexual life is between her and her partner. Whether she has multiple partners or not is none of anyone else’s business. If one doesn’t know the full story, he or she shouldn’t judge the situation. If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t we want people staying out of our private lives? I realize the notion that we should “treat others the way you want to be treated” seems overused and cliché, at times, but it’s often repeated because it’s true. If you don’t want people prying into your life in the bedroom, then don’t pry into theirs. Also, if you don’t want people judging you based on your sex life, then don’t do the same to them.