Posts by Dana Zimbleman

Cold Warrior

(“She loved me for the dangers I had pass’d, And I loved her that she did pity them.” Othello, William Shakespeare) To train you not to crack under hostile interrogation, they shoved your six-foot frame into a foot-long locker, buried you alive, then headed off for a long cocktail lunch at the officers’ club. When finally exhumed, you smiled and said, “Did you give my phone number to the waitress

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Rosa’s Husband

If you google the name “Raymond Parks,” you’ll find a lot of information about a daring Georgia hillbilly who served prison time for running moonshine in the 1930s and helped found NASCAR in the 1940s. Unfortunately, Google reveals far less about a black man by the same name, whose famous wife, Rosa Parks, became an iconic civil rights leader during the 1955 Montgomery Bus Boycott in Alabama. Yet Rosa’s husband

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The Academic Redneck Fitness Challenge: Update 2

Previous Weight Loss (November 28-August 7): 30 pounds Weight Loss August 7-September 4: 2.4 pounds Total Weight Loss (November 28-September 4): 32.4 pounds End-of-Year Weight Loss Goal: 50 pounds Remaining to 2017 Goal: 17.6 pounds Happy Labor Day! Well, I didn’t reach my goal to lose another four pounds during August, but I still made slow, steady progress with a 2.4-pound weight loss. In my defense, though, I weighed four

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Please Help Our School

Every time I see the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus, I think of my years as a student at J.B. Pennington High School in Blountsville, Alabama. I relate so much to the character Gertrude Lang, an awkward young woman struggling to master clarinet, the most unforgiving instrument in marching or concert band. One wrong placement of teeth on mouthpiece, and out come foul—and fowl—sounds. I played clarinet long before the Aflac

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Send in the Virtuous Clowns

In an astoundingly “unwoke” segment on Weekend Update: Summer Edition, comedian Tina Fey appeared last week with a sheet cake and urged her fellow always-on-the-moral-high-road progressive warriors to engage in stress eating instead of confronting neo-Nazis and white supremacists. While on some levels, it’s reasonable advice, it also (pardon the pun) sugar coats the real problem. Unfortunately, her routine is what we’ve come to expect from late-night television’s “funny” people

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Lazy Summer Movie Fun: Overboard at 30

Today, on my first duty day of the 2017-2018 academic year, I need to reflect on the blissful three months of vacation that have come and gone. It was a pretty chill summer. I spent a lot of time doing absolutely nothing and enjoying the hell out of it. After several summers of hectic activity (caring for ill parents, managing my late father’s unfinished estate business, traveling to Europe and

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